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Aug. 22nd, 2004 06:55 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
slappersire.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
shadow_writersWritten when all the storms were going on and it felt like the rain would never end. A short piece about all four of my characters.
I can't stand the rain 'gainst my window
Bringing back sweet memories
I can't stand the rain 'gainst my window
'Cause he's not here with me
Rain over the hills. Rain creating rivers and lakes where there were only streams and puddles a day ago. Rain on my window. Edward is far away.
My head is full of voices, happy voices, sad voices, screaming voices, mad voices. He's so proud of me now. Step by step I become his true daughter. Step by step I link up with the conciousness that I have only dreamed of until now. My dream. My plan. Everything I've ever wanted. To belong, to have my body back, to be me.
And her? I'll make my head so unliveable that if she steps into it she'll be driven out. They all will. And then it will be me and him together for eternity.
But for now Edward is far away. And I miss him. I miss the smell of him, the touch of him. Edward is far away, but Dominic is here. I think it's time to go find him, time to go play.
Hey window pane do you remember
How sweet it used to be
When we were together
Everything was so grand, yes it was
Now that we've parted
There's one sound that I just can't stand...
Fingers tapping on the keyboard. A stone discarded at the other side of the room. Arguing voices ignored.
These are the things that define my world right now. That and the sound of music. I put it on to try and drown out the noise. The noble Garou and the emotional kin. Hah. Everyone so certain that they're right. No-one really looking at it logically.
Saying that, I'm finding logic hard to come by right now. A little bit of me is aware of exactly how irrational my feelings are, but that little bit is being solidly drowned out by the rest.
There's just something about him that makes me feel safe and scared all at the same time. Never felt like this before. Realtionships. Sex. They've always been irrelevancies. No-one would want a Plain Jane like me anyway.
Now I find myself hoping that maybe one man might. Even a little bit Gaia, just a teeny bit would do.
Alone with the pillow
Where his head used to lay, yeah
I know you've got some sweet memories
But like a window you ain't got nothin' to say
Rain, rain go away, come again another day. Makes flying a bitch, and the constant trudging back and forth between the Bawn and flat is playing bloody havoc with my hair. Want to go home. Want to hold my Egg. Want to have sex. Wantwantwant.
Want to not be here in a place full of strangers who don't trust me. Want to go home with Danny when he...
Shit.
When did I start thinking of there as home?
When did a bloody cave, of all places, become my idea of a safe haven nest? Why am I wanting to hide away with a whole bundle of wolves, why do I want to avoid my own kind? Why on earth am I failing to tell Cat's Graces stuff which she should know? And why do I have Meatloaf stuck in my head? I'd lie for you and that's the truth
Oh bloody hell.
Bloody Jacob. Bloody men.
I can't stand the rain 'gainst my window
Bringing back sweet memories, hey
I can't stand the rain, ooh
'Gainst my window, oh no no
'Cause he's not here with me
Soothing drumming, soft and caressing, warm against my skin. Rain on the water around me, rain in my eyes, my ears, my nose. Turn tail and slip under, slip over, be pulled by the currents, be lost and found.
Don't think about Darkened Seas.
Don't think about the hostility and the creatures.
Let the animal brain take over and dive. Up and down, circles in the water.
Don't think about Zubin, heading ever closer to losing himself. Don't think about what happens if he does. Don't let him go, keep him close.
And if he does go. Well. Keep him close anyway, don't forget him as he'll forget you.
And don't think about who might have to take over if he does go.
I can't stand the rain 'gainst my window
Bringing back sweet memories
I can't stand the rain 'gainst my window
'Cause he's not here with me
Rain over the hills. Rain creating rivers and lakes where there were only streams and puddles a day ago. Rain on my window. Edward is far away.
My head is full of voices, happy voices, sad voices, screaming voices, mad voices. He's so proud of me now. Step by step I become his true daughter. Step by step I link up with the conciousness that I have only dreamed of until now. My dream. My plan. Everything I've ever wanted. To belong, to have my body back, to be me.
And her? I'll make my head so unliveable that if she steps into it she'll be driven out. They all will. And then it will be me and him together for eternity.
But for now Edward is far away. And I miss him. I miss the smell of him, the touch of him. Edward is far away, but Dominic is here. I think it's time to go find him, time to go play.
Hey window pane do you remember
How sweet it used to be
When we were together
Everything was so grand, yes it was
Now that we've parted
There's one sound that I just can't stand...
Fingers tapping on the keyboard. A stone discarded at the other side of the room. Arguing voices ignored.
These are the things that define my world right now. That and the sound of music. I put it on to try and drown out the noise. The noble Garou and the emotional kin. Hah. Everyone so certain that they're right. No-one really looking at it logically.
Saying that, I'm finding logic hard to come by right now. A little bit of me is aware of exactly how irrational my feelings are, but that little bit is being solidly drowned out by the rest.
There's just something about him that makes me feel safe and scared all at the same time. Never felt like this before. Realtionships. Sex. They've always been irrelevancies. No-one would want a Plain Jane like me anyway.
Now I find myself hoping that maybe one man might. Even a little bit Gaia, just a teeny bit would do.
Alone with the pillow
Where his head used to lay, yeah
I know you've got some sweet memories
But like a window you ain't got nothin' to say
Rain, rain go away, come again another day. Makes flying a bitch, and the constant trudging back and forth between the Bawn and flat is playing bloody havoc with my hair. Want to go home. Want to hold my Egg. Want to have sex. Wantwantwant.
Want to not be here in a place full of strangers who don't trust me. Want to go home with Danny when he...
Shit.
When did I start thinking of there as home?
When did a bloody cave, of all places, become my idea of a safe haven nest? Why am I wanting to hide away with a whole bundle of wolves, why do I want to avoid my own kind? Why on earth am I failing to tell Cat's Graces stuff which she should know? And why do I have Meatloaf stuck in my head? I'd lie for you and that's the truth
Oh bloody hell.
Bloody Jacob. Bloody men.
I can't stand the rain 'gainst my window
Bringing back sweet memories, hey
I can't stand the rain, ooh
'Gainst my window, oh no no
'Cause he's not here with me
Soothing drumming, soft and caressing, warm against my skin. Rain on the water around me, rain in my eyes, my ears, my nose. Turn tail and slip under, slip over, be pulled by the currents, be lost and found.
Don't think about Darkened Seas.
Don't think about the hostility and the creatures.
Let the animal brain take over and dive. Up and down, circles in the water.
Don't think about Zubin, heading ever closer to losing himself. Don't think about what happens if he does. Don't let him go, keep him close.
And if he does go. Well. Keep him close anyway, don't forget him as he'll forget you.
And don't think about who might have to take over if he does go.
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 08:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 09:09 am (UTC)Which one?
They're all being 'special' right now.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 09:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 09:16 am (UTC)And Katy's fine, she's busy doing things to make Charles happy (tm) at the minute. What's the chance of it going wrong?
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 09:24 am (UTC)Making Charles happy? Why am i scared...if Sarah is involved, its practically guaranteed...
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 09:31 am (UTC)Multiple Cam STs = multiple ways for them to make us hurt.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 09:53 am (UTC)Kinda Small Unicorns! (c. Kath Minchin)
At least they might. If Katy gets anywhere with what she's doing atm.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 10:02 am (UTC)"Yes yes, good horsie".
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 10:08 am (UTC)Or else.
:-p
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 10:11 am (UTC)He *has* a spiritual side? He has childlike wonder? Hmm, well, he does want some lego stormtroopers, does that count?
Oh, and he wants to negociate with some spirits too ;)
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 10:15 am (UTC)I'm sure that somewhere in the dark recesses of what he laughingly calls his soul, he must have those things. And yes, lego stormtroopers are a step in the right direction. Even though I know he wants animate Lego stormtroopers which will take over the world.
Which spirits, and (I'm so going to regret asking this) does he want Katy to help?
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 10:26 am (UTC)Mmm...animate Lego Stormtroopers...and AT-ATs, they'd be cool for, err, home defence...yeah....and a death star with real working planet killer, erm, for, ahh, home defence...
You really know how to make Rik feel bad...Charles, well, thats a different thing :p
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 10:47 am (UTC)Home defence? Ahem. Right.
Not trying to make Rik feel bad, or Charles. Not my fault you have an ammoral character. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 11:47 am (UTC)And definately, he needs home defence, erm, against, ahh, 'red talons' and such...
Charles is just differently moralled! Hmm, okay, he has no morals, but he DOES have ethics, does that count?
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 06:55 pm (UTC)Ahhhh, those wacky Red Talons and their threats to pull his head off. I'd forgotten about them. Time to get real home defence methinks.
I'm sure he has some morals. Somewhere. Perhaps behind the couch? And ethics can be acceptable replacements. Depends on what sort they are.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 11:41 pm (UTC)Real home defence? I was thinking of getting a large chap to help with gardening and stuff...
His ethics are very firm, rarely flexible at all, honest...really...
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 11:28 pm (UTC)*grins*
It's a sport.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 11:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-27 12:59 pm (UTC)We may do at a later date
Who is Charles' DST btw?
no subject
Date: 2004-08-27 01:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 11:43 pm (UTC)